Aries — Bam Bam Bam, asleep says nothing
Taurus — The Chocolate was a great idea.
Gemini — Now talk to me.
Cancer — What do you want to eat?
Leo — I just get better and better each time.
Virgo — Go wash your self (dont forget to scrub), I’ll disinfect the bed.
Libra — It was good right? How was it? Did everything go well? I can’t decide.
Scorpio — Next time, chain me to the chair, and have rabbits doing it around the chair, so I can watch.
Sagittarius — I gotta go, dont have time to stick around.
Capricorn — Off to work. I’ll tell you when I’m ready for the next time.
Aquarius — We should do it on skype.
Pisces — I dont remember a thing, so it never happen.
— (via harlemsbeliz3an)
Hilariouscope of the day. Lawlz.
Gemini has split personalities, or so it seems. They like to entertain and be the center of attention. They love telling stories and are never boring. They need a partner that can keep up with them. They like a lot of variety, spontaneity. Do it in a place that you may get caught.
69 – they like to give and receive pleasure at the same time.
Gemini Man in Bed:
Known as “the twins” he has a different side to him every time. One minute he will be saying sweet nothings in your ear, the next he will be ripping your clothes off and telling you to bend over.
Gemini Woman in Bed:
Gemini women are not the type to enter into a long term relationship to quick. They needs spontaneity, or she’ll be gone. If the scene doesn’t change, she will change the people around her. Gemini women enjoy talking about sex, as much as doing it. Prepare for something different every time.
Gemini Hot Spots:
Gemini rules the shoulders, arms and legs. If you want to get them hot, start with a massage and focus on these spots, their hands are very sensitive, so lick, nibble and suck. Soon, you will be lying on the table when they attack you.
Gemini is compatible With Libra, Aquarius, Aries and Leo.
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you’re bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you’re a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who’d kill them self to win a bet.
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You’re an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative’s limbs to buy a
mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you’re prone to bullshitting and you’re a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
You are the forgiving type and you don’t bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.
You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You’re a prick.
In Indian (Vedic) astrology, your zodiac sign determines your karmic path and the challenges you will face during your incarnation in this life. Here is a simple break down of how your zodiac sign can reveal your karma based on past life experiences. (Via)
Your challenge may be to put someone else first for a change as you are a fire sign who is very ambitious. Your challenges often have to do with your reputation. Problems with money can arise because of your impulsiveness.
You are a stubborn individual and it may be your challenge to admit for once that you are wrong. Loneliness is often a problem for this sign.
You tend to escape reality and, as talented as you are, you may be presented with situations in this life that force you to be more grounded. Health problems could present themselves.
Love triangles are commonand fidelity could be another challenge for you. *how the hell did you know that?
You are very inward looking and shy. Your challenge may be to overcome depression or a “woe is me” attitude. Mental health and relationship problems are common.
You are a very arrogant and ambitious individual and you may be presented with challenges in this life that force you to be a little less selfish and shallow. Financial problems are common with Lion type karma.
You are a very controlling individual who finds it difficult to let go. You may be presented with situations in this life that compel you to be less rigid. You may often be dealing with situations where you are not credited for your work or you feel unloved.
You are indecisive and you may be forced to make some tough decisions that are out of the ordinary to remedy your karma from other lives. You will learn not to blame others for your problem. The issue is to determine whether you are a martyr or a victim.
You can be obsessive and too concerned with sex. Your challenge may be to rise beyond the compulsive nature of your desires. You may also be tempted to dabble in the occult.
You can be wayward and concerned only about your own agenda. Issues of commitment could be challenging in this life if you are born under this zodiac sign.
You love money and acquiring possessions. One of your challenges may be realizing that money is not everything in this life. You might also be presented with issues that show you that “everything” does not have to be perfect for you to be loved.
You love to be free and to while away the hours in your own mind. Unfortunately, this leads to procrastination. You may face challenges that are the consequences of not being mindful or paying attention to what is important in life.
The Pisces zodiac sign is always looking for the other in their life time. The challenge might be how to learn how to be alone or you might face issues of coherency and addiction.