Because I seriously need to lose weight.

• Kissing: 68 calories per hour
• Undressing: 8+ calories total
• Massaging: 80+ calories per hour
• Intercourse: 150-200 calories per half-hour
• Giving Oral Sex: 100 calories per half-hour
• Using Your Hands: 100 calories per hour 
• Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half-hour
• Making Out: 238 calories per half-hour
• Masturbation: 100-150 calories per half-hour

[Humor Version]